My Identity in Punk

This post was on my old blog, under the title, "A (Very) Short History of Punk, and The Beginnings of a Statement of Vision." I'm re-posting it (with some slight editing) for several reasons: 1) it serves as an appropriate preface to another post I'm working on; 2) I already wrote it; 3) I really don't want you to read my old blog. It sucked.

There’s a real risk of my losing focus, motivation, and any hope of a dedicated audience if I just fly by the seat of my pants here. Before I say too many things I know I’ll regret, I want to define my vision for this blog, in order that the things I say here will serve some kind of purpose. So I’ll talk about identity a bit. Probably a lot more of this will come out as I keep writing, but this is a good place to start, as it’s kind of core to the way I think.

I am a person who is very interested in the idea of subculture. One of the best and most obvious examples of subculture in Western society is punk rock. Unfortunately, the term "punk rock" has not aged well, and its meaning has fallen into ambiguity, though arguably it was pretty convoluted to begin with.

To me, the most essential aspect of punk is finding strength and identity in alienation. In a lot of cases that can be a very destructive kind of strength, and a volatile kind of identity. It's actually kind of amazing that punk is still exists in any form at all, considering how much it's suffered throughout the past several decades. The original boom lasted only a few short years. Regional scenes and splinter movements have developed and fallen apart. Many artists have quit, died, or sold out. Mainstream capitalist culture has taken every opportunity to cash in on its popularity, each time taking more than the movement could give. The words, “Punk rock is dead,” and, “Punk rock is still alive,” have been uttered too many times to count.

I am of the opinion that, despite it all, punk lives on to this day. Probably not in the way that the Ramones or the Sex Pistols might have guessed… but then they were insane. I doubt if they really understood what they were doing or what it would mean decades later.

How did it manage to survive, mangled and disfigured (or perhaps transfigured) as it is? It goes back to the “spirit” of punk rock. This was something that people in the post-punk and early hardcore era seem to have understood well. They were still who they were: angry middle-class intellectuals and anti-intellectuals, postmodernists through-and-through, snot-nosed kids with something to say. The scene that had embraced and inspired them had gone out in flames, but they kept going because punk was not just their scene. It was their identity.

And it's part of mine, as well. It resonates with me on a number of levels: the community of outcasts; the angry kids with guitars screaming about whatever; the spiky-haired prophets out to change the world.
I don't literally consider myself a punk, or a geek, or a metalhead, or really anything. Any time I get really close to any one particular subculture, I discover something really ugly about it that sends me running. But they all still have their place in my heart. Punk rock in particular is something of a symbol for me, and for a dream I have.

Basically, I want to change the world.

The Intro Post

Where to begin...? I guess I can start with some thoughts on identity. Normal people call this an "introduction." This blog will be a little bit different, though, so it's very important for you who are reading this understand where I'm coming from.

My name is Ryan. I identify myself as "male." More on that later.

I consider myself a religious person. I know some people tend to view that term with some distaste, but it's taken on new meaning for me in the past year, and it's begun to shape my thinking and my identity. I'm an artist, as well: I've been playing guitar for about ten years now, and drawing cartoons for basically my whole life. My major right now in college is "Worship Arts," which is the perfect blend of theology, ministry training, and aesthetics.

One of the primary motivations for blogging is that when it comes to things that I'm passionate about, I have too many thoughts to possibly bring up. The best example of this is music. If I am asked what kind of music I like, all I can do is list the handful of bands that I'm listening to at the time. There are patterns in my taste: I am very much drawn to most things that came from punk rock. At the same time, for nearly every band (maybe every album, even) there is a story behind why I bothered to give them a try, and why I bother to continue. In fact, there's some kind of story for a lot of my life. I hope to share some of those stories with you.

I should note that this (blogging, that is) is a pretty new thing for me. I suppose, like a lot of other people, I've started a bunch of blogs before and virtually abandoned them a few days later. I'd never had a vision for blogging. I don't even know why I bothered to start them. This time it's a bit different. I've learned about myself and what I'm good at, and I've spent a lot of time developing my voice in how I write. For the purpose of this blog, I will apply an analytical approach to my boring life, my art, my church life, and my relationships, in the hope that something I discover will mean something for someone else.

A note about my writing voice. This is pretty apparent to most people who meet me, but I tend to have an at least half-serious demeanor. In social settings, I tend to use sarcasm as a way of expressing exactly what I mean, but in a way that, in all likelihood, will fly over the heads of my audience. In a sense, it's a test: I give my meaning in a somewhat cryptic way, wanting only those who are really interested to find out what I mean.

That's sort of what I'm doing with you, my new readers. I thought I'd at least be nice enough to let you know, and invite you to try to unravel what I'm saying. Please don't mistake this for contempt, though. I'm kind of a weird and complex person. I realize that I can be infuriating at times. I swear, it's not you. It's me.

There will no doubt be tons of themes throughout the life of this blog (assuming I keep up with posting), and they'll probably change as time goes on, as I gain more knowledge and life experience, and as I keep writing and (hopefully) interacting with my audience. However, the themes I'm exploring right now include identity within various contexts, shifts in life and culture due to the rise of technology, ritual and tradition in religious practices, and integration of religion into daily life.

I don't pretend to lead a particularly interesting life. For the purposes of this blog, though, I really don't think I need to. The sick, scary wonders of suburban Canada provide enough material for a lifetime of reflection and analysis. So strap in. It's going to be a long, bumpy, uncomfortable ride to nowhere.

This is gonna be fun on the bun.