So, um... I'm broke. Not a huge surprise, I guess. It's very easy to run out of money using my own time-tested method of spending money without earning any. I take pride in the effectiveness of my methods. Of going broke.
Something weird happens to me in times like these, where I try to rationalize my position. I start this very odd thought pattern, trying to convince myself that I don't need money. This is probably nothing new to some of you out there. You tell yourself that, in the grand scheme of things, money is a very small, relatively insignificant thing. After all, you've got your health, good looks, talent, intellect, relationships, dreams, etc. haven't you? Aren't those really more important than the trivial, mundane matter of money?
Before I go on, I should let you know that I know that you know just how stupid that sounds. This is an interesting ability that we humans have, of wilful self-deception. We can alter our perception of reality to make it fit something, whether it's a romanticized expectation on the course of our lives or a comprehensive (heh) theory of the universe. We can believe things which we know on some level, even most of our being, to be false. Look at... example.
Erm...
Well, relationships can certainly have that element. I'm pretty guarded about this in my own life, and even I have fallen prey to a rose-colored outlook. Other people I've known suffer much worse in this regard, where their views on their relationships take on a sort of bipolar character: it's either, "I really can't stand him/her," or, "He's/she's my favorite person in the world!" This is one extreme form of self-deception, where one oscillates between two opposing fallacies. It's really bizarre to behold, yet it happens all the time.
Self-deception is not always a wholly evil thing. It's what allows us to engage with art, especially fiction. Of course, the appropriate term in that context is, "willing suspension of disbelief." Sounds much nicer, doesn't it? Funny thing about euphemisms: while there may be real, important distinctions between terms, using language like this carelessly can allow for some weird blurring of definitions. Euphemisms are about reassigning value in words. Saying "self-deception" suggests that value is placed on truth or reality. "Suspension of disbelief" suggests that disbelief, the default mindset, somehow limits the audience's ability to see or understand something, and therefore must be suspended for a time. Take away the value judgements in those words, and the two terms mean exactly the same thing: accepting fiction as reality, falsehood as truth.
Uh, I guess I'm done for now.
